Thursday, March 22, 2012

Octopus Envy

I envy the octopus. It has eight arms. Yesterday was my first full day alone with two kids. It really did feel like I needed eight arms!

Despite a rough night with Luke, I was able to get out of bed and dressed by 9:00am. Savannah and Luke were dressed and fed in a reasonable amount of time. After getting ourselves organized I also was able to do two loads of laundry, empty the dishwasher, vacuum two floors, clean the master bathroom, and organize all of Luke's new clothes (two giant bags full!).

I have been surprisingly eager to clean - I almost think that's why I feel so good emotionally. I have been able to do all the stuff I used to do. On Tuesday I organized Savannah's closet (really - it was impossible to even see what she had!), vacuumed, mopped, made a dessert, did laundry...and I've been able to keep with scrapbooking and writing in the baby book...I have been able to be my normal obsessive self. It's almost amusing to me...I was so worried about how we'd survive with a second child and how I'd manage the house and both kids...but here I am surviving with a three week old and an almost 3 year old. I'm tired as all get out (I actually fell asleep at the lap top the other night!) but I am happy. I haven't really felt any baby blues...of course at 3am when Luke is STILL awake after an hour of trying to burp I'm pretty frustrated...but nothing worrisome.

Luke is gaining weight well. At his 5 day check he had gained back to 8 pounds even (he dropped to 7lb 10oz at his lowest) and then at his 12 day check he was 9 pounds even. I know I must be doing something right if he is gaining so well! I am much more comfortable nursing this time...I even nursed in our garage (with the door up!) while Carl worked on organizing it. I just covered up a bit and faced away from the road. I never would have felt okay with that before...so I know that as long as he and I stay healthy, we are hopefully on a road to a happily breastfed baby!

Sleep is still something I miss...for some reason I remember Savannah sleeping so well the entire time...but I know she must have taken at least a little bit to sleep more than 3 hours at a time! We have decided to let him sleep in his bouncer...he just does better. I know it's a habit I will eventually have to break, but I have always been a fan of the mantra "pick your battles"...and this is one he can win for now. I need sleep. He needs sleep. When we do transition to the crib, he will hopefully be sleeping better...so missing an hour every night breaking the habit will be much easier when he sleeps 5-7 hours at time than now, when I am lucky to get 3 hours of sleep from him (which equates to 2.5 for me since he nurses).

Little Luke will be three weeks tomorrow! It's hard to imagine! Big sister Savannah is a dream - so far no jealousy and no angry voices. I hope it stays that way. She has been amazing and wonderful. It makes me proud to be her mama!

Friday, March 9, 2012

4 Minutes and 17 Seconds Changed My Life Forever

One week ago today, our family welcomed Luke Asher into the world. This is his story.

On February 27th I was pretty frustrated. I kept having Braxton Hicks contractions, I was tired, I was uncomfortable, I was done with working. I just wanted a baby here. At my appointment, the midwife did all she could do to encourage labor. I stayed home from work on Tuesday, hoping that real contractions would start. I was uncomfortable, but not miserable. Nothing of note happened. I was bummed out. On Wednesday I intended to go to work, but that morning there were signs that labor would be starting soon. At least I thought. When Savannah was born, those signs occurred hours before she was born. I was on high alert. After all, I had picked the 29th for a birthday long ago!

Much to my dismay, labor didn't start. I went to bed thinking it would never happen. I would be pregnant forever.

Thursday morning I woke up and there were more signs of labor. I was done thinking, "Is this it? Is this it?" I called the doctor's office and they had me come in for a check. I was 3cm and 70%. On Monday I had been 2cm and 70%. Again, the midwife stripped the membranes and sent me on my way with advice to go on bumpy rides, walk, go up and down stairs, eat spicy food...everything that is typically done to encourage labor. That was around 10:00am.

Carl and I left the doctor's appointment and headed over to his office to pick up a prescription for me. (The midwife wrote one for an anti-histamine that is stronger than Benadryl, but safe for pregnant women. It was supposed to help me sleep.) Carl drove over every last bump he could find and with each bump I grew more uncomfortable. We decided to go to lunch with a few of his coworkers, so I also ate a buffalo pizza - hoping for the spice to kick in. I was having contractions, but not timing them. I had grown tired and weary of timing contractions. Every time I did, I ended up disappointed. They were uncomfortable, but still not unbearable.

After lunch I wanted to walk. I wanted to continue doing every last thing to keep the contractions going. Carl and I headed to the Coliseum for some walking and steps. We walked a mile, and I went up and down several flights of steps. I was officially extremely uncomfortable. When we got back to our house we spent a little bit of time with Savannah, and I had started timing contractions. By 3:00pm I was having a mildly painful contraction every 6 minutes. Around 4:30pm my mom decided to head back to her house, and take Savannah with her, just in case we did head to the hospital. I still wasn't convinced it was real labor...again, I had been disappointed so many times.

Around 5:00pm I started to notice that contractions were closer to 4 minutes apart. The midwife had told us that a sign of true labor would be contractions that were 4 minutes apart and were happening consistently for 2 hours. So I took note of it being 5:00pm and kept timing. Carl was handling some work issues on his laptop, and I was quietly timing. Around 6:00pm I told him that I'd like to walk to the mailbox (ours is in a bank of mailboxes at the bottom of the neighborhood hill that I slid down in my car) and drop some mail off (bills and such) and then if I was still having contractions at that point then we could go to the hospital. He had been wanting to go to the hospital all day, but I kept delaying it, still not sure of true labor and not wanting to be sent home.

Around 6:15pm as he was finishing up his work and getting ready for our walk, I told him that maybe we should just go to the hospital and forget the walk. My contractions were still 4 minutes apart, but I was beginning to get concerned that maybe my water was leaking. So then he knew that if I was willing to go to the hospital then it must be important. I think that's when he got nervous. We made sure all the lights were off, cats fed, things were in the car, and drove down to the mailbox to drop off the bills, and then headed into town. Of course, we were behind the slowest drivers in the world (or so Carl thought!) the entire way to the hospital. I had to keep telling him to not turn on the flashers, that the baby wouldn't be coming in the next 20 minutes. He wanted to use flashers, and drive in the medians, and break just about every traffic law. I told him not to drive crazy and just be patient. When we got to the Emergency Department (you have to go there first to get checked in) he practically slammed on the brakes, then jumped out of the car, grabbed the hospital bags out of the back, tossed the keys to the valet, and hurried me inside.

Once checked in, I was whisked upstairs to the labor and delivery floor via wheelchair (I hate that - I can walk after all!). We were setup in a triage room, and the nurse hooked up a monitor to follow my contractions. One of the midwives I'd met before was on duty, and she came in to check me. To my surprise, I was 5cm and my contractions were timing every 3-4 minutes. By 7:30pm we were told that we were staying and we'd be welcoming our baby to the world soon!

I called my mom and told her that Savannah was definitely staying with her that night, and that we'd been admitted. We quickly got set up in a room and Carl began making sure the cameras were ready. I was in some serious pain by then. Contractions were worse than I had remembered with Savannah, and my back seriously hurt. I tried a hot shower...and stayed there for about 30 minutes. It helped, but the pain was getting worse. I was still determined to deliver our child without pain medication, but it was getting pretty intense.

To help ease labor, I sat on the "peanut". It's like a ball, but made to help prevent people from falling off of it. That helped for a while, but the pain was getting worse. I climbed back into bed and laid on my side. I kept trying to just breathe through the contractions and I repeated in my head that it couldn't last forever and that I'd get a baby in the end. It was getting pretty intense. At the next check I was 7cm...an hour later I was 8cm...and the pain was becoming unbearable.

At 11:20pm the midwife said she could break my water for me, but that it would bring labor on fast and hard. I really hated the sound of that, this was much worse than with Savannah, but I really, really wanted to be "unpregnant" more...so I said let's do it. That sure did bring labor on! I threw up pretty soon after that - the pain was too much. I kept saying I didn't want kids, didn't want a baby, didn't want more, that I was done. I hurt so much. Around 11:45ish they checked me again, and I was still 8cm. They determined that the baby was in an OP position, which as I have now learned is occiput posterior position. Basically, the baby's head was against my back. This completely explained the miserable labor so far! So we tried moving my position around to encourage the baby the flip around. Nothing worked. We had one stubborn baby!

So, just after midnight, I began begging for pain medication. I was too far past the point of epidural, the best they could do is something in my IV. The midwife knew my plan for natural, so she suggested that she could try a technique in which she physically turned the baby (internally) during a contraction. I asked how much it'd hurt, and she said it would definitely hurt, but that it'd be over in 30 seconds...and again I was desperate for a baby, so I agreed.

It was honestly the worst pain I have ever, ever felt in my life. Carl said I was screaming for her to stop that it hurt too much, but the turn must have worked. When she began the technique for turning, I was 8cm, when she was done, I was fully complete and ready to push. Then, the most amazing thing happened. Literally, from the second she began to turn the baby to the second I held my beautiful baby boy, it was only 4 minutes and 17 seconds! That's it! I only pushed for 4 minutes and 17 seconds! Little Luke must have wanted a March 2nd birthday instead of March 1st, because I guarantee if he'd been in the correct position he would have been born on March 1st (he was born at 12:11am on March 2nd).

That labor was so different from my first. When Savannah was born I was pretty much silent, in the zone, pushed for 90 minutes, and had a very calm, cool birth experience. This time around - not so much. For the last hour of labor I was miserable, swearing off children in general, yelling at the midwife to stop, and then through the pushes I was absolutely not silent. The pain was too much.

After things settled down, I said that I was done with having kids. The nurses and midwife said that I am made for having kids, that I was a champ at pushing. While my body may labor well, I think I may be done with kids. Pregnancy takes a lot out of a person's body and we have two beautiful children. I feel complete. I'm happy.

So life at our house has changed - but surprisingly having a toddler in the house has made things almost easier. We already have a routine, so by sticking to that routine, Luke is learning a routine quickly. We do bathtime around 7:15p, Savannah watches a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse in our bed while I feed Luke, and then around 8:00pm I pass Luke to Carl for burping and I take Savannah to her room for books and cuddles. By 8:30pm the house is quiet. Luke wakes up around 11:00ish to eat, and then again around 2:00, then again around 5:00, and then again around 7:30 or 8:00. Just in the past few nights has this routine settled in and I'm hoping it stays for a while (with maybe a missed feeding at 2:00am for my sake soon).

Recovery hasn't been terrible, better than with Savannah. I remember not being able to do any grocery shopping for longer than 15 minutes for the first few weeks. Walking hurt, everything hurt. This time it is a little bit better. I've been able to go out and not be incredibly uncomfortable...I'm surprised, but thankful for it.

In the end, I know that God did have a plan for us, even though I was growing more and more frustrated with the delay of holding my baby. The midwife who delivered Luke was there for a reason. If Luke had come on Wednesday the 29th, that amazing midwife would not have been at the hospital. She later told us that it had been her New Year's Resolution to begin attempting more turns, and that with babies in the OP position and first time moms it almost always ends up in a c-section. She still sees a decent amount of OP babies even in experienced moms result in c-section. If it hadn't been for her confidence and expertise, I might have been rushed for an emergency c-section with a stressed baby. God's timing was perfect.

Welcome to the world Luke Asher!