Thursday, July 26, 2012

Time to Smell the Roses

Recently Luke has been growing up and maturing much faster than I imagined possible. Now, when we lay him down in the floor on his back, he instantly rolls right over to his belly. (At his most recent appointment for his crazy cry, the neurologist was amazed at how well he's doing. She said he is advanced for his age - like I needed her to tell me! Also, his cry is just crazy - he's perfectly healthy.)

With all this extra time he is spending on his belly, he's getting to practice using his he-man muscles. The other day I was playing with him in the floor, and literally his belly was almost completely off the ground. Then, a different time he get one leg under and dug his toe into the floor, essentially causing him to lurch forward and land on his nose. Now, I realize to non-parents out there, this sounds like nothing. But it is so amazing! Just think, if he combines these two new skills...it won't be long before he is creeping across the floor...getting into trouble!

He also is almost sitting alone. He just needs to master the balance part. I love playing with him...I realized today that this is the beginning of my favorite age with babies. He is still not able to get away from me and into trouble, but he is also starting to interactively play with me. I'm really excited for the coming months. (Can you believe he will be FIVE months old in a week?!)

The fun times are just ahead - which means I need to make time to be with my family and cherish these years. Honestly, Savannah grew into a little person right before my eyes. I need to stop missing it all! There are lots of things I want to do with them while they are still small...like hand print art...and cute photos...and creating Luke's 1st year DVD...and scrapbooking...and just all kinds of things.

I really want to get in gear and buckle down into a schedule for the house. We need a better bedtime routine which would then allow for an hour or two in the evening for me to work on things (like cleaning or laundry or dishes or crafts). I really want to get the Poland household in shape next week. The bedtime routine will start right away...and once that falls into place things should go a little easier.

I also want to plan our weekends a little better. I know we do a lot to help others, and that's wonderful, but I also want to make time to spend together. (Even if "together" is just a movie afternoon.) I want Sunday afternoons/evenings for us. That's where the dilemma lies. It seems like almost every Saturday is filled up (staining the deck, event for work, trips out of town)...so that would leave Sunday for other things. Church is of course on the schedule...so we get Sunday afternoons/evenings for the rest of our "to do" list. (How sad it is that my to-do list includes arts & crafts with my kids!) But we can't have our Sunday afternoons to ourselves. We have to make time for Carl's mom's grocery shopping...and she likes to walk with her cane, and visit several stores...which makes shopping trips much longer than a "quick trip to the store". There's always the possibility of Carl shopping with her alone, but even that proved problematic in the past...and then I'm home with two kids and it is hard to get much done when Luke wants held the whole time.

I don't know what I want...I wish we just had more time. As it is we don't watch television. We are rarely home on the weekends. We have several half-done projects. We are leaving for a small vacation (to coincide with Carl's job) soon and I feel like we don't even have the time for a vacation! We can't afford to lose a weekend...it is just so frustrating. I don't know how to stop the crazy train...

In the end I kind of know the solution...I just need to sleep less. Instead of trying to go to bed by 10pm (since I know I'll be up at 1 and 3 and 5:30), I just need to stay up until the 1:00 cry...that way I have 3 hours to work on that to-do list. I also think I need to push Carl to do more in the evenings. He is the master of beginning projects and never finishing them...and leaving the unfinished mess in my way (he cleaned out his car but then left all the stuff in piles in the garage and kitchen...he started a raised garden bed, but never created any kind of trelis for the veggies to climb, he's bought stuff for a rain collection barrel for watering said garden but all the supplies [$50 worth!] are sitting in the garage). So instead of putting on PJs (his own) while I get both kids into bed, he needs to be hustling his butt to get things done. He often says he is tired, but right now that hasn't really gone over well with me...at all.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Discouraged and Tired.

It's no secret that I am not getting any sleep. Most nights Luke wakes me up at least two times, and recently it has seemed that he is waking up three times a night. We tried cereal (which he enjoys eating surprisingly), but he still didn't change sleep patterns. I have tried nursing often. I have tried just putting the bink back in and walking away. I have tried limiting naps. I have tried so many things. He has a routine. He has quiet and darkness. He just will not sleep.

*Side note - Luke had bananas for the first time yesterday. He loved them! He has gotten into the habit of holding the spoon and/or my hand for dear life when he eats. When I asked Carl to finish up feeding him the bananas, I had to pause feeding Luke so I could move for Carl. By the sounds coming from Luke, you would have thought I just stole his lollipop or something! He was not done eating and he wanted us to know it! He also is much more difficult to carry around at any kind of picnic type event. At VBS on Friday, I had made a plate for myself with a hotdog and sides. I had Luke in my left arm, the plate in my left hand, and a bowl of salad in my right hand. Luke decided what I had looked good and grabbed the hotdog! He ripped the bun and turned it all over! I had to quickly set all the plates down and get things out of his hands...because with Luke anything in his hands quickly finds the pathway to his mouth! If it had just been something like ice cream I might not have panicked so much - but he could choke on bread or hotdog right now! He is much more difficult than Savannah when it comes to managing my plate!

As a working and nursing mom, this has been such a challenge. I have a lot to maintain in my life (my household, caring for both Luke and Savannah, helping with Carl's mom, a job) and the lack of sleep is starting to effect my day to day life. I don't function at work as well, I am grouchy more often, my immune system is down, and I have much less patience with both my kiddos. I am missing out on the happy moments with both kids, and am missing out on enjoying the young weeks with Luke. I am so grouchy and tired that when Luke is happy, I am attempting to rest....I'm missing all the fun things about being a mom. And I hate it.

In a moment of desperate times, I told Carl to make up a bottle of 4oz of formula for Luke. (In all of Carl's "End of the World" preparedness he had stashed away a sample of formula that we'd gotten in the mail.) So after Luke nursed like normal at night, we also gave him the bottle. He drained all 4 ounces. He still only slept 3 hours before waking up again. We did the 4 ounces the next night...same result. Last night he drank something like 6 or 8 ounces, on top of nursing! He still woke up twice.

I have no idea why he isn't sleeping...but I have begun to suspect that he isn't getting enough to eat throughout the day. If he isn't getting plenty of nutrients throughout the day, of course he's going to wake up hungry! When he nurses (or when he takes a bottle of breast milk while I'm working) he often fusses when it's done...like he thinks we took it away. He isn't satisfied unless we give him a bink to suck on.

I know there are lots of breastfeeding proponents out there that would just say to "nurse through it"...but I feel like I've been nursing through it for weeks now. His weight is dropping (was in the 50th percentile, now in the 25th) off his curve...he just isn't content. So with a discouraged heart I have decided to begin supplementing more often with formula. He will still nurse first thing in the morning, and I'll still pump throughout the day. He'll get breast milk and formula while I'm gone. He'll nurse at night time and get a bottle. I know that going down this path will mean that he will eventually be purely formula fed. But I'm tired of having a cranky baby who appears to be hungry. I'm tired of allowing my pride and the thoughts of what others may think get in my way. I want my baby healthy, happy, and nourished. I also want him to sleep...not only for me, but for him. Babies need sleep to allow time for their brains to process all of the information they absorb (and the way Luke watches every last thing, he has a lot to process!).

Our house needs structure, and routine. Right now bedtime is somewhat routine...but not nearly what it was before Luke. I know part of that is just the chaos of a new baby...but some is because while I nurse Luke, Savannah has taken to watching her favorite show at night time...we just need to establish a pattern and really stick to it. Life has thrown in a lot of curve balls recently that has been a cause of us being away from home at bedtime...but we need to stand up for what works for our household...I will sleep again...and so will my kids. And we will ALL be better for it.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Growth.

This summer has been a summer of growth, in so many ways.

Obviously, my littles are growing beyond belief. Luke amazes me daily (yesterday after he rolled around for a while he began pulling his legs up under his belly and pushing off - not an efficient mode of transportation in the least, or really all the consistent yet, but nonetheless...you can't leave him in the floor without an eye on him!) and Savannah is maturing and learning at exponential rates. I am so content with them - even though Luke's sleeping habits leave much to desire!

My marriage has grown too. The past five years of marriage have had many, many ups and downs. We have celebrated many wonderful moments, we have shed many tears, and we have struggled through disagreements. There have been times that I would sit and wonder, "What did I get myself into?" but then am reminded that Carl and I love each other, and neither one of us is perfect. I know we were meant to be together...when we have tiny, intimate moments away from the stress of life we are reminded of our love. (As I recently blogged about in a post regarding our anniversary.) At times I wonder how many people out there judge our marriage...maybe not judge, but compare it to their own and think their's is superior. But you know, my summer of growth has instilled in me the courage and strength to not really care what anyone thinks about things that go on in my life. Even though Carl and I have had disagreements and struggles, we always reconcile, we grow, we move on. I know that when my kids are grown and out of the house (which will come all too soon!), I will be happy with the person I married. We won't be the same people as we are now...no one stays the same...but we will have grown together, shared many memories, and we'll be stronger.

At times I am frustrated with Carl (like the day he watched the kids and didn't take Savannah to the potty at all - undoing some of my very hard work potty training!), but I know that he has his frustrations with me. I'd like to think I'm perfect, but I know that isn't true. I know he loves his kids, even though his priorities aren't always in the order I'd put them. I know his intentions are to do the best for his family, even if they aren't always clear to people looking into our lives. I also know that while he isn't perfect, he most certainly is better than many, many men out there. I don't know if there's a single one (besides him!) that could put up with my need for cleanliness at odd times, or my obsessive backseat driving, or lots of my quirks! I guess for those peeking into our lives I share this...He isn't perfect, but you didn't marry him, so butt out. I'm sure I wouldn't be happy with your husband either - there's a reason we married who we did after all!

I guess that's part of my growth too...I have lost some of my filter. I have seen too many ups and downs in life with family illness, death, miscarriage...I just think sometimes all the "niceties" are pointless. Life is so much more than "he said she said"...there is just more to it than that.

Friendships have changed too...I've grown away from high school friends, college friends...the other day at church a new mom asked me if I had any friends that didn't have kids. I really had to stop and think...I can only think of one friend who doesn't have children...and our good friend Patrick (affectionately Mr. Pat!) is the only one...and he adores our children so much that he truly is like a godparent...so most of our friends do have kids. It is just the way life progresses on...people move, people change, people grow. I do know that I am happily married, a happy momma, and a happy working professional. :0)

Friday, July 13, 2012

Celebration of Birthdays

I started a tradition when Savannah was born. Each month I would buy a birthday card, write a message in it about what she was doing, how she was eating, what she liked/disliked, and just generally how much she was growing up too fast. I'd print out a picture from that age and stick it in the card...so she has 12 birthday cards for her first year. I thought it was a unique way to keep track of her development without having to find the right spots in a baby book to write down all the little things she had done that month...and it will be fun to look back at those cards as she grows up.

Of course, I am attempting to do the same things for Luke that I did for Savannah. So far I'm still keeping up with his "first year" scrapbook and all of his birthday cards. I know all too well how fast my littles are growing up!!

*Another note...Savannah used to say her name was "Suh-Sannah" or "Sa-Nanna"...the other day I came home from work and she said, "Mom, I'm SaVANah!"...and my response was "My baby is all grown up!"


Monday, July 9, 2012

The Future of Birthdays....

So after rehashing Savannah's birthdays via photos...it's already time for me to start planning and preparing for the next round of party madness. In 2013, I am going to begin the first of many years of live/breathe/sleep parties during the winter months. Luke and Savannah's birthdays are only 39 days apart...so I will be planning two major events simultaneously (which for me is always a challenge I'm up for!).

Even though I realize this pretty much shouts crazy extreme planner, I decided the theme for Luke's first birthday the day he was born. (If he had been born on February 29th, I already had a theme planned - before he was born! Ha! It would have been frogs - get it, Leap Year, frogs leap, February 29th?) But alas, no Leap Day birthday...but his birthday does fall on a very special day - Dr. Seuss's birthday! As I was laying in bed, staring at my beautiful baby boy, very early (like 1am!) in his life (he was born at 12:11am), I decided his birthday would be as Seussical as it could get! I have since created a pin board dedicated to the ideas for decorations, foods, games, favors...everything. (Side note - I discovered Pinterest after Savannah's 3rd birthday...now all the birthday parties are sure to be crazy!) I plan to use the red, white, and unique Seuss blue for the main colors...I will most likely make the cake/cupcakes...and all the foods will be special (green eggs and ham anyone?). Location is still in the air...I'm back and forth between our church hall and our house...we will see as the time nears. I have already begun buying items as I see them on sale. Michael's is debuting a Dr. Seuss theme bulletin board set (for back to school for the teachers out there)...so I have been buying up all kinds of decorations! I want to find a free evening (like that's going to happen!) where I can go and read Dr. Seuss books and jot down all kinds of references to food and images in the book (truffula trees, roast beast) so I can really plan. (Research for a 1st birthday party - I really am obsessed with excited about the possibilities of this party!)

As for Savannah...I hadn't given much thought to it until recently. I've really thought a CandyLand theme would be adorable and fun...I stumbled upon the idea back when she was still under 1 year...and knew it'd have to wait to be a theme until she was a little older...well the time has finally come (hooray!). I asked her the other day how she felt about a candy party, and she was on board with the idea the second I said, "Candy!". I've begun exploring some decoration ideas as well as activities and foods...I definitely will have a little bit more of an activity based party, because let's face it - four year olds can handle activities! I definitely will need to do some research into CandyLand (looks like family game night!) to decide on what kinds of activities (cupcake decorating?) we can plan...and I would love to plan her party for our church....we have a wonderful flat lawn between the building and pavilion...the weather is always chancy (April is tough to predict)...but I could plan for outdoors and then move inside if need be.

In future years I'd love a construction party for Luke, maybe a Star Wars theme...and even though I like picking the themes, I'll enjoy creating a magical day for my kids once they start being more opinionated on the topic. For now I'm thrilled that they just enjoy my excitement over their big day and I love the knowledge that I am celebrating their lives to the fullest!

Hello Kitty - Savannah's 3rd Birthday!

So this year Savannah has become obsessed with Hello Kitty. She loves everything about her. I secretly think it's all the pink (and because Hello Kitty looks very similar to our Junebug kitty). Since our little Luke was born just 6 weeks before Savannah turned 3, some of the details of the Hello Kitty party were store bought...prior to his birth! I knew I'd be busy and recovering...so this party was still beautiful and special...just a little less homemade!


Hello Kitty cupcakes - definite hit!


Of course - another homemade cake!


Cake and cupcake bonanza!


Understated beauty - simple yet beautiful!


This year Savannah's birthday fell over Easter weekend - so the main activity for the party was an egg hunt. Each attending guest received a personalized bucket for hunting eggs (and great for use over the summer!).

Minnie Mouse Birthday - Savannah Turns 2!

In part two of three...Savannah's second birthday!

With a trip to Disney under her belt, and a Minnie Mouse costume from Halloween, and a love for all things Minnie, we decided on a Minnie Mouse themed birthday. This party was probably one of the most time intensive when it came down to handmade crafts, but it turned out beautifully. Everyone had such a wonderful time, it was gorgeous (inside and out)...truly one of my favorites memories with my little Savannah!


Of course - homemade invites!


This is one of my very favorite images of the day...


All dressed up!


The main dining room...


Savannah's table of honor (and giant Minnie!).


Rockin' out her special table!


Photo display - We did photos of Savannah at one, then some that had pictures of Carl and I...fun to see who she looks like!


Gift table with a Minnie silhouette!


Birthday banner! It in insane how many circles and bows I cut out for this party!


Birthday cake - again homemade!


Birthday cupcakes! These was a lot easier than you may think...I just "glued" mini Oreos onto regular Oreos with melting choclate...then once cooled I dipped the entire top half of the "head" in melting chocolate. Before that cooled I put the little bows on. The trick for the bows? Print out a picture you like, place it under wax paper. Then, I melted pink melting chocolates in a ziplock baggie. Once fully melted, cut the tip of the bag off (just barely - you want a small hole!). Trace and fill the image onto the wax paper...then I sprinkled little white nonpareils to create polka dots!.


Lots of Mickey/Minnie foods and plates!


Perfect pasta for a pasta salad!


These cute little paper flowers were an awesome way to add a little Minnie flair without taking up much time.


Adorable and unique idea for a second birthday party favor!


Goodie bag contents!

Alice in Wonderland - Savannah's 1st Birthday

I have in the past discussed my desire for this blog to be printed up for my kiddos...and I began thinking that while I blog (sometimes in length!) about the party preparations, I don't really think I ever actually blog about the parties after the fact. So in an attempt to catch up, this will be the first in a series of rehashing the decorations/food/etc details from Savannah's first three birthdays...

Savannah's 1st Birthday - Savannah in One-derland

As we all know, I'm a big fan of Disney...so a unique Disney themed birthday is what I was going for. Below are the photos of the day...all of the decorations are easy!


I love this wreath...the cards all have meaning. Seven and Four (7 pounds, 4 ounces) the ten and nine add to her height (19 inches) and of course the Queen!


Don't Step on the Mome Wraths!


Such a simple way to decorate - giant playing cards!


The table-scape...including lots of teapots!


No 1st Birthday is complete without a homemade cake from Mom!


I love this detail - the playing cards are the date of her birth!


And last but not least, the Queen, Alice, and the Mad Hatter!