Pet Peeves

Recently I read a friend's Facebook status and learned that I commit a pet peeve of hers (unknowingly). She hates that people don't return the shopping cart to the store or cart catch. She thinks it is lazy. I want to start off by saying that I am not lazy and she is not wrong in saying that it's lazy. It is lazy - for the single, non-child-toting adult.

Of course this friend doesn't have children. She just doesn't understand the issues associated with returning a shopping cart when you have two children with you. I used to think the same thing - return the darn cart! Then I had Savannah and Luke. I just attempt my very best to park next to a shopping cart return that isn't miles from the store entrance. In the case that isn't possible, the shopping cart doesn't always find a "good home" before I leave. Here's the problem: Savannah can walk. And run. She is really generally very good about staying by my side, but who wants to take chances?

So picture this: You get done shopping and have a cart full of groceries (especially when you are shopping for a family of four!) which also had an infant seat in it. You have the little babe in the cart and push it with one hand (killer on the wrist!) and then in the other hand you hold the toddler's hand to keep her in safe proximity to you. So obviously your cart is full and you can't carry all of the groceries and children to the car...so you take a full cart to the car. You of course want to load everything in the car before returning the cart. Well - before you load the groceries to the car you need two free hands. This entails putting the toddler in her car seat for safe keeping. Say it's possibly raining or snowing or windy...all of which happen often here in West Virginia. Thus, with the poor weather, you also need to put the infant in his car seat in the car. So, the kids are loaded and safe - they can't run off. Now you can (finally!) unload the groceries from the cart. So now you are left with an empty cart but children strapped in your car. You can't leave the kids locked in the car (Hello visit from CPS!)...so do you unstrap both children from the car, put them back in the cart for the trip back to the store/cart return and then carry the infant back to the car one-handed while you hold the toddler's hand? Or do you just put the cart as much out of the way as possible?

So when I shop alone, if I can't find a parking spot near a cart return...well the cart doesn't make it back. I can understand how someone without children wouldn't think of these things - I didn't really until Luke came along.

I've been thinking about how people on the "no children" side of life seem to glamorize or falsely understand those of us on the "children" side. I happened along this blog post the other day. I honestly could have written this myself! Just today I was up at 4am, then 7am, then rushed through the house to get Savannah to preschool (which means I have to be dressed to), feed all three of us, pump extra breastmilk (and store it safely)...all before 8:30am. I had errands to run, pack for a trip, pick up Savannah, laundry to do, food to prep for dinner...it is just one thing after another. I often have to eat while I'm nursing Luke...otherwise I don't eat. Even trips to the bathroom are limited! I often forget that I was heading that way (when of course I was side-tracked by Savannah or Luke) and then it's hours between trips to the bathroom.

My grandmother is ill, which weighs heavily on me. I want her to see Luke - but she lives 5 hours from here. She's in the hospital now. So making the trip with the two kids is going to be hard. A family member offered to watch the kids while we are there so that Carl and I could have some time at the hospital (because, again obviously, Savannah won't be patient and lovely in a hospital for hours on end). It was so very sweet of her to offer - but it was also clear to me that she didn't know what she was signing up for. She said she'd watched her husband's nieces before, and they can be a handful, so she could handle Luke and Savannah. I don't think I'll subject her to that. We'll be driving 5 hours (and that is without stopping) or more to get there...most likely much longer time since we have a breastfeeding newborn and a potty training 3 year old (dry for 4 days now!)...I see many stops in our future. So when we arrive we'll have two cranky kids. One who has to be with me because I'm his food source, and one that is incredibly shy and won't stay with someone she has seen very rarely in her short life. So we are going to have two irritable little ones...drive up to see my grandmother and then drive home the next day. Needless to say I'll be exhausted come Monday.

I love being home with my kids - a lot. When I go back to work it will be REALLY hard. Much worse than when I went back to work after Savannah was born. I wouldn't trade any of this craziness for anything...I just wish those who didn't have my life wouldn't act like it's a simple, relaxing lifestyle. Those who think things are cut plain and clear most obviously haven't experienced it!

Doctor Drama.

Being a mom is tough. Being a mom that visits the doctor's office often is really tough. Luke and I both have a cold that has lasted over 2 weeks now. On Wednesday I took Luke in to see the pediatrician since his stuffy nose had developed a cough. He weighed 10 pounds, which is exactly what he weighed two weeks prior. Instantly, the conversation became "How do I produce more milk? How often does he eat? When does he eat? Maybe we should talk about supplements..." It scared me immediately because I didn't breastfeed Savannah for more than 3 months, and her weight was checked all the time. I always second-guessed my instincts. I hated it.

So when Luke seemed to stop putting on the pounds, I started feeling more confident. Until Wednesday. So today he had to meet with a pediatric cardiologist (he had a faint heart murmur at birth - completely gone now and he's fine but talk about stressing a mom out!) and when he was weighed upon arrival to the hospital, he was 10 pounds 9 ounces...no way did he gain 9 ounces in 2 days! He was weighed again at his follow-up from his visit with a cold and again, 10 pounds 9 ounces...so on Wednesday he had been weighed wrong! All that stress and worry and second-guessing for nothing! I told Carl that's why I hate how often they check on babies and weight...it makes moms second-guess what they are doing. I hate the first days of life in the hospital...every 10 minutes there's someone in the room asking questions..."How much did you drink? How long did the baby nurse? Has the baby pooped yet?". I know they have a job and they are doing their best to be sure that babies stay healthy, but it makes for so much drama for the mama!

So now I know that Luke is growing and I'm doing the right thing. I hope to keep seeing such improvements. Now I just have to get this house healthy! Luke and I need to get rid of these colds!

Less Than a Week to Go...

My life has been busy. My life has been hectic. It's all in a day's work as a mother of two! Luke is growing by leaps and bounds - at his last weigh-in he was 10 pounds even. That was a week ago, so I'm guessing he is more like 10 1/2 pounds now. He looks so much older to me already! He is almost smiling. I can't wait for the day he looks up at me and grins. I've seen little hints of his smile while he sleeps - it has got to be the most (or tied with Savannah for the most) adorable smile ever! Our house is somewhat into a routine in the evenings. Luke nurses around 9pm and then wakes up between 2am and 3am. He then goes back to sleep until around 6am or 7am. Luke is also officially moved into the nursery. I took the pack and play out of our room on Monday. Our bedroom is again an adult space - not a daycare! At one point Savannah was sick with a double ear infection and had an allergic reaction to her medicine which created horrible, horrible hives. Well, I was so worried about her that I wanted her nearby at all times - so she slept in our bed. So I had her in bed next to me and Luke in the pack and play on the other side of me. So while I love my kids, sleeping with them on either side of me is not a permanent thing. No one slept well and I woke up with less patience to deal with the day ahead. It is amazing how much better I feel now that I only have to be woken up once a night to nurse and that I have room to sleep without children next to me...I'm still tired, but not so tired that I try to put milk in cabinets or wears my pajamas all day.

Luke also is growing up developmentally too. He holds his head so well now - and when he lays on his back or belly he is always pushing up or straining to turn where he can see better. Savannah rolled over at 3 months, and I could see Luke doing that a little sooner. I'm looking forward to the months ahead when Luke can interact with all of us. He is sure to be a handful, but it will be fun to watch all the first milestones again!

So, in less than a week my little Savannah is going to be three! I can't believe that she is already three...it seems like we just brought her home from the hospital, and here we are celebrating her birthday with another little one in the family. She has grown and changed and matured...she plays so imaginatively now, and has full conversations about anything and everything, she goes to school and loves it, she is a BIG help with her brother...she is a big girl. Some nights when we are finished reading stories and praying at bedtime, she talks to me about the most random things, but it is always so sweet. She tells me how much she loves me, and Carl, and Baby Luke...she is just an amazing little girl.

Although I know it will happen at some point, she is still not showing signs of jealousy. She loves Luke and she helps with him. She hugs him and kisses him and even gave him a bottle yesterday. She talks about all the things she'll show him when he gets bigger and she thanks God for him during our prayers. I am SO proud of how well she has done. I have so many reasons to be one proud mama!

The other day we, as a family of four, were driving home from my parents' house. Savannah was crying about wanting some toy that we left there (it always stays at their house but for some reason she really wanted it) and Luke was crying (as typical - he hates car rides) and I was coughing up a storm (turns out I had strep throat). I kept thinking to myself, "No one in the world envies me right now. No one would want to trade places with me.". I told Carl about my thought a little later. His first reaction was that someone would want to trade with me...there are millions of women out there who would...those who couldn't have kids would be delighted to be in my spot. He is right. I am blessed to have children, and pretty amazing ones at that. There will be days where the noise level is just insane, the stress level is through the roof, and the tension in the house is near explosive...but we are blessed.

When the house gets crazy I just have to remind myself of the blessings my children are and that "this too shall pass". Kids grow too fast, move away too soon, and leave a mom wishing for a noisy house again.