Mommy Melt-Down!

Yet another snow day at home. I love my time working from home with Savannah - I really, truly do love it. Around 1pm today I was even thinking about how much fun it is to watch Savannah learn new things. She most definitely connects meanings to certain words now. I was reading her one of those "My First Words" books and we came to a picture of a cat. She said "cat" and looked up at Omen (our wonderfully patient black cat). She also loves for us to chase her now. She will crawl around and around the kitchen island giggling as we chase after her. When we catch her she gets a good tickle, which always elicits a joyous scream. She is becoming such an amazing little girl.

So around 3:30pm, when she still hadn't taken her afternoon nap, I wasn't as "amazed" with her. I'd shoveled some snow (Which by the way, if there were an Olympic event for shoveling snow one-handed while holding a bundled-up 20 pound baby on your hip - I would win a gold medal.) and even let her chatter in her crib, but she was still not sleeping. I do realize she is teething, her gums do look very swollen. She wasn't screaming much, but when she did cry it wasn't pleasant. So I went to an old standard...a few teething tablets, her first dose of Tylenol, a scoop of strawberry ice cream, and Mickey Mouse. The ice cream pacified her...until it was gone. So from 3:30pm until 5:00pm we played a lot...she refused to stay within view so there was a lot of chasing going on. At 5:10pm I decided to feed her dinner, and I ate with her. While we were eating I spoke with Carl at work - and I shared that Savannah hadn't slept since 11:30am. He said he was going to be leaving very soon. I decided that since Carl would be home soon that I'd just try to keep Savannah up, whenever he gets home she enjoys playing with him. So I spent the next hour trying to keep her happy - which sometimes worked. At 6:15pm I'm wondering where in the world is Carl?! The roads are covered in snow...I'd shoveled earlier in the afternoon and there were already at least 2 inches on the drive. Then my cell phone rings. It turns out that I should have just let Savannah take a nap because he is just then, at 6:20pm, leaving work.

So Savannah is crying, tired, and hurting from her teeth...and I feel just as broken. Now I'm filled with worry for Carl, sympathy for Savannah, and pity for myself. She cried, then I cried, then she cried, then I cried. It had just been such a long day for both of us. The snow has been relentless, and once again my weekend plans have been changed all because of snow! I was in the middle of a mommy melt-down in the middle of a winter freeze-up! I just felt so overwhelmed...and like a bad mom. I know Savannah could have used a more patient mommy - but I just couldn't pull it together. In the end she fell asleep on me just before Carl got home...so now it's past her bedtime and she's getting up to play with Carl. I really could use a warm sunny day, a trip to the spa without any screaming, and just maybe 10 minutes to read a book...

I love Savannah SO much, but when she hasn't slept for 7 hours straight she is a handful to handle alone - especially since she really has never been like this. She started sleeping so well for us very early on, so her bad days are so very few and far between...and somehow I got her on one of those not so fun days, when I was stuck snowed in alone for the entire length of it.

I really, really, need some Spring sunshine soon.

Pancakes!!

Last night I gained an appreciation for Carl...and he wasn't even around! Yesterday was IHOP's National Pancake Day, with proceeds going to the Children's Miracle Network. It also happened to be one of the rare nights Carl had to attend a business dinner. I love pancakes, and I know Savannah loves everything, so I decided that Savannah and I would have a mother-daughter dinner date.

We stopped at Michael's first...I seriously have a scrapbooking addiction, but that's a whole different post...and she loved holding all the stickers I found on clearance. I am definitely going to try to incorporate my love for crafts into her life as she grows up. Then we went on to IHOP. It was only 4:45 when we arrived, but I had to drive around the parking lot twice to find a parking spot. I was surprised that Savannah was patient as we toured the parking lot. Once I finally got a spot (near the front door - thank goodness!) I started gathering everything to carry in with me. I had a diaper bag (into which I put my wallet so I wouldn't have to carry my purse too), a highchair cover, and Savannah. Once inside we were given a table quickly...again this made life so much easier! Then I had to cover the highchair - not an easy task with a 20 pound baby on your hip!

Dinner went by quickly and with all the people in the restaurant to watch, Savannah was thoroughly entertained. It almost was kind of a bummer...she wanted to look at everyone else instead of play with me while we waited for our food! I ended up getting the free pancakes for Savannah. She loves them!

It's adorable how she tells us she likes a new food...all stemming to her Lovey. As I was starting to teach her to hug her Lovey I'd tell her "Love Lovey" and then show her how to hold it up under her chin and lean her head to the side. Now when she "loves" a food she tilts her head to the side and smiles. She doesn't do it with all foods, just the ones she can't seem to get enough of. It's just a cute little quirk of hers!

She ended up eating almost an entire pancake, and had some of my hash browns. I was surprised she ate that much with all of her "people-watching". After I'd gotten the check (and a balloon had been delivered to Savannah - much to her delight), I started the process of gathering things. I tried my best to clean up the food that Savannah had dropped on the floor (mostly just from missing her mouth, I really try to keep her from purposely putting it there), and then I picked her up. Now I had to do all the previous work, only in reverse. I had to roll up the highchair cover, and once I did that it (of course) had some dropped food in it and that ended up on the floor. Now my hands were full and I couldn't pick that food up. (I did leave a really great tip for the waitress...I hated to make her busy day even worse!) Then I had to get the diaper bag (with balloon attached), make sure the credit card was easily accessed, and also take the take-out box (Savannah still had 2 pancakes), plus carry Savannah (it will be much easier when she can walk!).

Once to the front of the restaurant, much to my dismay, the line to pay was longer than the line to get a table! So there I stood, in a very crowded waiting area, holding Savannah, a diaper bag with a balloon tied to it, a highchair cover, and the take-out box! I'm sure I looked to be quite the distressed mommy! The wait was around 5-10 minutes, and once again Savannah was patient. She smiled at people as they would talk to her and she didn't wiggle too much. After I was finally able to pay I had to navigate the sea of IHOP patrons to get out the door...which is much more difficult than it sounds! I had all of that gear attached to me, with Savannah on my hip, and the balloon trailing behind us...what a sight! Once to the car (again SO thankful it was near the door!) I got everything in and buckled Savannah in. It took a while to navigate the parking lot, as people waiting for spots were blocking all kinds of pathways out...but we made it out. Savannah jabbered in the back as I drove home...she has taken to high-pitch jabbering recently...I think she's discovered she can do that.

Once home, I put Savannah in her highchair and gave her some more pancake...I knew she must be hungry since she didn't truly eat. She quickly began eating and was happy to be in her home. I used that time (since she was contained) to bring things in from the car and to put things away. (Please note: I can see the highchair from the kitchen...it's about 5 feet away, and the garage opens into the kitchen, and I wasn't in the garage for more than 30 seconds.) I even spent a little time to eat a pancake with her...since while we'd been at IHOP I had spent most of my time making sure she was taken care of. Once she was done we played for the rest of the evening, and then she easily went to bed.

So after this crazy IHOP evening, why is it I have more appreciation for Carl when he wasn't even present? It is precisely that reason that I appreciate him. While I knew going to a restaurant with Savannah alone would be difficult, I had underestimated just what all was entailed. Carl is usually the one to deal with the highchair cover, picking up dropped food, and paying the bill, while I do everything that Savannah needs. I had to do all of that at the same time! It opened my eyes to the plight of a single mom. A trip to eat dinner isn't as easy - or as hunger satisfying - when you have to watch over a small child by yourself.

I survived; we both did, even if we did end up finishing our dinner at home. I appreciate having Carl's help more than I did before, and hopefully he'll appreciate my willingness to do things with Savannah, even when it is more difficult for me than staying home.

My Baby Love

I love when I get home from work. It has become such a rewarding experience. Last night I taught at WVU, and in preparation for a test on Wednesday, a student asked me to stay late to answer a few questions...of course on the day I had been dying to go home and see Savannah.

As the garage door went up, Carl brought Savannah out to watch me pull into the garage. I think she didn't fully understand that I was in the car...but as soon as I got out she started jabbering and waving her arms around...she couldn't contain her excitement until I held her. She was most definitely visibly excited to see me. The rest of the evening we played together, and she got her bath, and was just content to sit with me. I know she misses me when I'm gone...and I miss her. Mondays seem to be the hardest though...right after a weekend full of fun.

She is growing though, and changing. Last night because I had missed her so, and she had so obviously missed me, I thought that after her bottle I'd just rock her to sleep so we both could get in a little cuddle time. Savannah was not having that. She instantly sat up and squirmed. So I gave in and put her in her crib...she rolled to her belly with lovey under her as a pillow and just sighed contentedly. She didn't want to be held, she wanted to sleep...she is growing up too fast for me. There are only 46 days left before her 1st birthday...I'm glad I'll be busy that day, otherwise I might just turn into a puddle of tears.

Uh-Oh, Spaghetti O!

I'm not even back to work in Fairmont for 5 hours, and Savannah gets her first boo-boo.

This morning it felt so good to get out of the house and return to my office...working from home is wonderful, but I truly missed the interaction with my coworkers. I enjoy my job, and I enjoy the atmosphere of adults working together. I do love Savannah so, SO, much, but I think a working-mom is the best kind of mom I can be. I also think it allows Savannah time with her Grandma that is oh-so-precious. She loves her entire family, and it is a blessing that she gets to see them so often, and that Carl and I get to still carry-on with our own, non-parent, lives when Savannah makes special trips to visit family. I didn't realize how much I missed the interaction at work until I arrived this morning. I had missed my friends so much. It also helps that finally, finally, we can see the sun again!

So after feeling so good about getting back into routine, and allowing Savannah her time with Grandma (which I really kind of think she was glad for too!), I'm checking on her around lunch time to see how her day has gone...and then I hear it. A small noise in the background, then wails from my little babe. My mom explains calmly that she's fine, she just sat down too hard while she'd been holding onto the coffee table. Remember that cute little quirk I mentioned a while earlier that Carl has when he concentrates? The habit of sticking out his tongue a bit when he's concentrating? Well Savannah has picked this little habit up, and it just so happens that while she was standing at the coffee table she was concentrating. All of this adds up to a very unhappy baby who bit her lip on the way down. Yes, blood was drawn...my little one has gotten her first boo-boo. She was comforted quickly, and back to normal in a jiffy, but her lovey (this ridiculously gray but started out pink stuffed thing she won't go anywhere without) has a bit of blood on it now from where she immediately grabbed it and held it to her face after she fell. She is fine...but am I?

It is moments like that when I wonder should I always be home with her? Would I be a better mom if I was home? Would she have gotten hurt if I were there? Would she have been comforted a second faster if I'd been there? The thing is, I don't know the answer to any of those questions. She might have fallen regardless of who was there...I seriously doubt my mom wasn't watching her. She has been standing at that table all week - mistake free. How would I have known she was going to fall? I don't know if she would have been comforted any faster than she was with my mom...she loves Grandma a lot too. And I don't know if I would be a better mom at home.

What I do know, is that Savannah is loved very much by myself, Carl, and our extended family. She is always in safe, trusted hands. She will never be left with anyone we don't fully trust. She knows that too, I think that's why there is no crying in the mornings when Carl and I leave for work. Grandma is just changing the guard with us, and Savannah is perfectly fine with that. I want her to have that ability to be okay without me, at least for a bit...she needs to know that when we leave her she will be okay and the person she is with is someone who loves her. At times I hate that this lesson is beginning at such a young age for her, but on the other hand I don't want reality to set in when she misses us because we are at the hospital about ready to bring home another baby in a year or two.

I also think that the infusion of adult interaction that I get from work makes me a happier person at home. I am just the type that craves the social interaction at work. I certainly don't want to spend more than my 8 hours at work, but I don't feel like I'm not a good mom by going to work...it truly gives me some time to be my own person too.

I've been thinking a lot about that too recently...who will I be in 18 years when Savannah moves out? Will I be some shell of my former self and crave to follow her where she goes? (I hope not - Savannah has quite the independent streak...I could be following her all over the world!) While you are a parent forever, you only make decisions for them for so long...so while I fully feel my purpose in life is to be a mom, I also have smaller goals that I can't ignore. I don't want to give the impression that I have this need to abandon her, because I most certainly don't feel that way. I just think I need to remember who I am, as well as be a great mom. To me, those two goals can be achieved at the same time. Parents are given these years to raise their child; to love, teach, and guide their child. The lessons Savannah learns she will carry forever. I want to make the most of my 18 years with Savannah before she becomes an adult (legally anyway), but I also want to show her that a woman can be a great mom and a great woman.

I am not at all saying my way is the right way to raise a child...most certainly not saying that. I'm just saying my way is the best way to raise my child. I am also not saying that any other way is wrong for someone else's child. It all comes down to this...there will be boo-boos I miss, but Savannah will never receive less love.

Baby Love

Some days I feel so consumed with love for Savannah. It is this feeling that swells up throughout my entire body and I just feel so overwhelmed with love for her. Before you have children everyone tells you how it is a love that indescribable. I've been thinking about that recently.

I've decided it is a love that is indescribable, but only because every parent/child relationship is different. I love Savannah more than I had ever imagined, and I know Carl does too (those heartwarming times when Savannah "flies" around the house giggling in his arms is a strong indication of the love they share). I can tell you all kinds of things to describe the love I have for Savannah. My heart literally hurts when I can't be near her, the little smile I get when I come home from work is what brightens my mood in this awful weather, and the times she crawls over to me with Lovey just so she can sit in my lap and rest...they are just precious and very special. To me these are just some of the words that describe our love...but to you they may sound like very normal things...if you have kids (or when you do) you know that the love you share is unlike any other.

I really don't think it's possible for one set of parents to love their child more than another set of parents love their child. Every household is different, with different strategies to raise children, as well as different life situations.

So I've decided the love I have for Savannah is difficult to describe to others, but I can describe it very well to her.

Rock The Baby!

I've been able to spend a lot of time with Savannah lately...at least all this awful snow has allowed me some extra time with her. She has learned so many new things, and seems to grow and change every day. I recently posted about her habit of hitting her baby doll...well the video below shows my progress...Enjoy!

Dear Snow, I Hate You - Go Away, Signed, Me.

This winter has just about ruined me. I have had to use 4-wheel drive to get home too many times. When I wake up to snow 90% of the time it is just unbelievably frustrating. I'm tired of the cold, wet, gray, blah of winter. I'm even tired of the people who tell me how beautiful it is. Yes, the snow is beautiful when you don't have to hurtle down the snow covered interstate at 70mph for 23 straight miles. Unfortunately for me this winter I am doing just that 5 out of the 7 days each week.

That brings me to the idea of the Olympics...and the poor man that passed away practicing for his sport. Where do the ideas for some of these winter sports come from? If I'm terrified to ride in my 4-wheel drive SUV on a snow covered road at 70mph, who in the world thought "I'm going to strap myself to this sled and ride down this ice luge at 90mph. - It will be delightfully fun." It isn't just the luge that is beyond belief for me. The downhill skiing looks just as terrifying to me, and I can't believe that the mogul skiing can be comfortable...the skier's knees just about hit the skier's chin every second. That has to be hard on the joints!

So as I'm surviving winter...barely...I am left to ask where do all these sports come from? Who are these crazy winter/snow lovers?! If any of them are in Hawaii right now - I will gladly exchange locations for 6 weeks!

MORE Snow and Peek-A-Boo!

So this is what our main road in and out of the neighborhood looked like recently...impassable.



So I have spent a lot of time with my baby - she turned 10 months old yesterday!! It amazes me how Savannah continues to grow and change almost instantaneously. Today she played all kinds of games with me. We now play pretend tea party in the Poland household...she shares her play "cakes" and pretends to drink from her teacup that I hold for her. We also play peek-a-boo where she hides under a blanket and then pops out...here's her smile when she came out from underneath earlier today...



Some days it is just wonderful not to think about being a parent - just to play!

Nature vs. Nurture

What makes us us?

I've been pondering that today as I watch Savannah try so many new things. The nature vs. nurture argument has been around for years, but until now I haven't really had any hands-on experience to base my opinions on. I have always gone back on forth on which side I agree with...but after watching Savannah I really don't think either nature or nurture is entirely responsible for the adults we become.

I know God created Savannah in a very special way. Carl and I marvel at how much she has changed, but that the intense look in her eyes is the exact same look she had on Day One. She is notorious for her "I'm Thinking" look - eyebrows scrunched, binky moving 90mph...I swear she looks like Maggie Simpson some days. That intense curiosity is most definitely the way God (nature) meant her to be.




Savannah also has some qualities that come directly from Carl or I. It's fun to watch Carl when he's building something or concentrating intently...he sticks his tongue out a bit. This weekend Savannah was trying to put her coin in her piggy bank, and there it was. She was sticking her tongue out a bit. Savannah also has a strong affection for animals. I have been an animal lover for as long as I can remember, and it is apparent that Savannah takes after me in this category. The first thing she laughed at? My parent's dog Alex. Her first word? "Cat". She hasn't met a single animal she is afraid of...she didn't bat an eye when the neighbor's dog "Kodiak", a Rottweiler mix that looks just like a Kodiak bear, came bounding over in the snow to see her this weekend. She hadn't met him before, but she loved seeing him. She kept turning and twisting to just see him playing. No fear, no crying.

While the previous two qualities are endearing ones to have been passed on - her mischievousness/rottenness aren't going to be quite as fun. Savannah has learned to stand in her pack and play, which is wonderful...except I looked over about 20 minutes ago and there she is, hanging onto the end rail peeping over to see me...her feet were not on the floor of the pack and play...she was literally hanging onto the rail...doing some form of a baby "chin up". As a side note - at an early age Carl learned to climb out of his crib. My mother-in-law just had to put a mattress on the floor so when he fell he wouldn't get hurt.


Didn't quite get the camera fast enough to get her in full "monkey mode"...

Savannah also has this wonderful habit of getting into something that isn't hers, turning when we tell her to leave it alone, and then smiling at us and waving...then going right back to what she wasn't supposed to be doing in the first place. This, I am told, is almost identical to my behavior as a tot.

So what about other traits? Carl has this amazing endearing quality (if you could hear me speak this sentence, the sarcasm is extremely thick) that when he is watching TV or checking email my voice suddenly doesn't exist. Is this how he was born? My mother-in-law claims "that's just Carl"...but in this one instance (well maybe I disagree with her on more than one thing, but very few) I beg to disagree. People aren't truly born with some quality that makes them ignore others. That is a learned behavior. When God created us he didn't put a quality in us that would allow electronic relationships to rule over human relationships. This quality in Carl (and I'm sure thousands of other people) has developed over time because no one taught differently, or demanded differently.

So how do I make sure that Savannah learns the right traits, and not the wrong ones? I think it has to do with the way Carl and I act. She picks up little habits of ours quickly. She has this glow-worm baby thing that lights up and plays lullaby's when you press its tummy. Well, I have started making it play the music and then I rock it like I would a real baby. The first time she saw me do this she crawled over to me, got in my lap, hit the baby on its face, then took it and threw it to the side. I was shocked, and decided we had better learn to be nice to baby dolls before I think about giving her a sibling to rock and love! So the teaching began. I would hold the baby and rock it and sing to it, and then I would invite Savannah to do it with me. She'd sit in my lap and sometimes hit it, but was beginning to enjoy holding it. We have been practicing this for a while - today my reward came! She was in her pack and play and sat down from her escape attempts. She happened to push the baby doll's tummy when she sat and it started to play music. She looked over at it and pulled it up onto her lap, and to my amazement she started swaying side to side - she was rocking the baby on her own!

I've decided Savannah is who God created, but she also will become more complex as she grows, and it is up to Carl and I to teach her how to rock the baby - not beat it up.

Unpredictable...

So I've discovered just what it is that I hate about winter and snow. The unpredictability. While I love a good spontaneous date here or there - I do not enjoy the weather causing my date nights to be spontaneously moved!

Being a parent inherently means being flexible...and for the most part I can handle that. It's when every other aspect in my life seems to be changing and spontaneously combusting that I have a problem. I dislike driving in the snow, I dislike not knowing if it is really going to snow, I dislike the snow changing plans, and I seriously dislike the fact that the snow has canceled Carl and I's date night twice.

Saturday is Pat's party! Hooray! But in order for a party to happen, I have to make it to the store at some point to buy the food. So unless the snow decides to once again change my plans - go ahead Winter, I dare you - our Saturday is looking to be quite busy...

7:30am - Wake up
9:00am - BabySplash (Savannah was bummed that it was canceled last week)
10:00am - Home for a quick nap for Savannah, and I will marathon clean...
12:00pm - Drop Savannah off at Grandma S's
12:30pm - Shop at Walmart, Sams, Target, BB&B, TJMaxx, Dollar Store
3:00pm - Be home in time to start cooking for Pat's party, any last minute cleaning
7:00pm - Pat's Party!

So Carl and I usually avoid restaurants on Valentine's Day, but we may just go for our date then...assuming it doesn't snow. I dream for the lazy weekends of summer...the basement will be done, and life will be a bit more predictable...at least on the weather side of life!

Snowed In

It started snowing here on Friday afternoon...and it didn't stop until sometime today. My family and I are utterly snowed in. At first I hated the thought of more snow. I think I have had my fill of snow for the entire winter, and really it had better stop snowing for good soon. However, this particular snow fell on a weekend, and while there are a million things outside of the home that I should have done, there were none that had to be done.

This snow has allowed Carl and I to spend time at home with Savannah, and truly enjoy the time spent together. Our cable isn't working all that well, and the power has been going on and off...it has probably died and come back to life at least 25 times in the past 24 hours. This left us with pretty much nothing to do but clean, or craft, or read, or talk, or play with Savannah. In this house snowed in has also meant unplugged. I miss these kinds of days - the lazy days where no one has somewhere to go or something to do...so Old Man Winter isn't so bad today after all.


She really did enjoy the snow...as long as she wasn't touching it...


One of the rare pictures of her crying...or should I say screaming?

We also survived today with no baby food! Savannah had cream of wheat and biscuits for breakfast, and then a grilled cheese and tomato soup for lunch, and chicken nuggets with bananas and broccoli for dinner. She did so well! I must think she eats a lot though because each meal I made way too much food for her. I guess there's a learning curve on this feeding thing. So my big girl eats just like a big girl now...9 weeks from today and she'll be a one-year-old.

Yes, being snowed in has been wonderful - I was able to enjoy a whole day focused on my family.

Present or No Present?

Not that I'm counting, but Savannah turns one in 64 days. I have been planning this party since she turned 6 months old. Of course, 4 months ago it was just fun little side activity when I had free time. Now I am in full-scale planning mode.

The theme is "Savannah in One-derland" based on Disney's Alice in Wonderland. I have planned a beautiful 3-tiered cake, along with an adorable smash cake for Savannah that says "Eat Me". I have planned several foods to serve, along with little sandwiches cut into the shapes of butterflies (see the scene in the movie about the "Bread and Butterflies"). The kitchen will be themed around the Queen of Hearts with cards strung across the top of the cabinets, giant playing cards covering some cabinet doors, and a house of cards (glued together) as a food centerpiece. The dining room will be the Mad Hatter space. Here we will have paper lanterns and teapots galore. Her cake will be front and center, along with her high chair...adorned with pink toule and the 4-10-9 of hearts playing cards. Outside there will be the Queen's Croquet Grounds with over-sized playing cards as the targets. I hope to paint the croquet mallets to look like flamingos...hopefully I have time! The white rabbit will lead the way (via paw prints) from the road to the front door, and Mome Raths will be under our tree in the front yard (which reminds me I need to put re-mulching on Carl's to-do list for the end of March...). And wouldn't it be nice for winter to have completely vacated by the 10th of April so we can open up the deck for guests?!

The basement will be a place for the older kiddies to watch Alice in Wonderland on the big screen (hooray for it being done in time!). This should keep some kids occupied for a bit. I also hope to have a coloring station set up for those who love to color.

So after all this planning I'm left in a pickle. Savannah is spoiled, thoroughly. She has enough toys to last her entire childhood already. While birthday presents are a part of birthday parties, are they necessary to the party? Do people want to get Savannah a 1st birthday gift? I am having her party to celebrate her first year, not really to collect more toys. But it is also a special time for Savannah and I will want to have some presents to take pictures of so when she looks back she sees her big celebration...so I am left in the aforementioned pickle. Do I ask for "No Presents Please"? or do I just hope everyone brings her clothes?

Obsessing Over Food

Three years ago I was obsessing over what foods I ate - I had a wedding dress to fit into!

One year ago I was obsessing over food in general, but particularly missing the things pregnant women can't have - "Dippy eggs", lunch meat, lots of fish.

And now instead of obsessing over food for myself I am obsessing over food for Savannah. She, of course, is oblivious to my concerns and thankfully she is such a trusting eater. I honestly believe she is a foody at heart. But this weekend at the store Carl and I are taking a giant leap - we aren't going to buy any jar baby food.

When we came home from the hospital it amazed Carl that I could feed our child - we didn't need to buy anything for her. It amazed me as well. For three months we were so confident feeding her. We knew she was getting all that she needed. Then we switched to formula - again an easy transition. I wasn't even nervous or worried about introducing stage 1 and 2 solids. Savannah made that a bit easier by enjoying every single food we gave her. I still haven't found a food she refuses, or even slightly dislikes. The little jars were even fun to shop for, and we always knew she was getting at least a meat, veggie, and fruit each day. Again, we knew she was getting all that she needed. The nerves have kicked in a bit as Savannah has transitioned to stage 3 solids and some finger foods, but only because of the ability for her to choke on it, I still know she's getting all the right nutrients.

So this weekend we are truly embracing the fears some parents have the instant they leave the hospital - are we providing the right nutrients for Savannah? It is up to us to find foods she likes (thank goodness she isn't picky!) and cook them for her. We have to make sure we keep a variety available. We have to make sure she gets her veggies and her fruits and her grains and her proteins...it is all a little worrisome for me. While the only true limitations the doctor has given us are to ban honey and peanut butter, there are some other considerations. We have to pick foods that are relatively easy and fast - when it's dinner time Savannah is not the picture of patience! We also have to find things that can be gummed to death by a little mouth with only two (she got her second yesterday) teeth. I also want to avoid the easy pitfalls of hot dogs and chicken nuggets. While I love these foods, I don't want to serve them every day.

To me it isn't just about feeding her, but starting eating habits that will last her entire life. She is a clean slate right now, she doesn't know about candy and cake. I don't want to hide veggies in foods, I want her to eat them with gusto as they are. I'm not opposed to adding veggies to things in order to add some nutrients, but I want her to learn to enjoy the flavors as they are. I also do want her to enjoy sweets, but in moderation.

As I venture out to find food options for my almost 10 month old (only 7 days left until the mark...) I have to also decide on the dinner rules. I've read a lot on the subject and have seen quite a range of table manners from children of all ages, and have come up with the following plan (of which may or may not work - if we are fortunate enough to have lesson plans as parents they are almost guaranteed to be changed by our children):

1. We eat dinner at the table.
2. We all eat the same thing. I am not, nor will I ever be, a short order cook.
3. The amount of dessert served is proportional to the amount of dinner eaten.
4. Absolutely no electronics at the table. This applies to all dinner tables.
5. We can leave the table whenever we want, but once dinner dishes are cleared off of the table, dinner is over. (For questions refer to rule #1.)

I don't want to appear to be a food-obsessed mom, but I also want to instill healthy habits in my children. I believe dinner time is when the family can come together and talk about the day. Without the rules outlined above that may not happen. While I know Savannah is a bit young to adhere to most of these rules, I want Carl and I (as well as others in our extended family) to start practicing them. It is Carl and I's job to be role models for Savannah. We are her educators, we are to teach her how to be healthy and try new foods. It is our job as parents to teach her.

This is my fear. How do I know I'm feeding her the right things? How do I know she is going to be healthy? How do I ensure the best for my daughter?

So if you hear of a crazed lady at the grocery store this weekend - examining nutrition label after nutritional label - you can laugh and know I must have found at least a few things to feed Savannah.

You Can't Keep Them Young Forever

Whoever said "Time flies when you're having fun." must have been a parent. This weekend was extremely hard for me as a parent. Savannah did so much in the time span of 48 hours - it left me in pieces by bedtime Sunday night.

Saturday morning Savannah had her first BabySplash pool encounter. She looked downright adorable in her swimsuit, but she also looked a lot different than the little baby girl who came home from the hospital with us. She also loved the water - she was just so grown up about it all. I had to let go of my need to comfort her fears since she didn't have any. She didn't need me to reassure her, she just wanted to splash. I'm so thrilled that she loved the water, but already another "first" has passed us by.





We also noticed on Saturday that two more teeth are almost in - bringing her to a new total of 3 teeth soon. She is just becoming a toddler too fast! She eats almost all adult food now, only 1 jar of baby food a day. The rest of her diet is made up of what we eat. She won't be getting a bottle soon either. The process of weaning from the bottle will begin before we know it...she is growing too fast.

Sunday was another day that just confirmed her growth. She just began pulling up on everything in sight. She just climbs all over stuff now. She even was standing in her pack and play and shuffling to the side to gets things...she will be walking and running before we know it. At bath time on Sunday night she came crawling into the bathroom in her diaper, all ready for her bath. I flashed forward to a not-so-distant future when she'll come running into the bathroom for a bath...in the real tub without her little inflatable duck tub!

At bedtime last night she was exhausted. She'd only napped once all day (even though we were home the entire day) and she was just about tuckered out. She almost made it through her bedtime bottle, but fell asleep at the end of it. As she was sleeping in my arms I was just so struck with the thought that she is truly growing up and becoming a toddler. Since she'd fallen asleep in my arms I just turned her over and let her sleep on my chest. I miss those days of rocking in the glider in the nursery at 2am when she was a teeny baby. I just closed my eyes and rocked with her for a while...trying to keep that memory forever. And so that's where I sat last night, eyes closed, tears on my cheeks, rocking my baby...for she will only be that small for a little while longer. As a mom you must be thankful for each and every morsel of time you have with your baby...even the temper tantrums, the 2am wake up calls, the smelly diapers...be thankful and praise God for the miracle you've been given. It truly does pass by all too quickly.