I've been pondering that today as I watch Savannah try so many new things. The nature vs. nurture argument has been around for years, but until now I haven't really had any hands-on experience to base my opinions on. I have always gone back on forth on which side I agree with...but after watching Savannah I really don't think either nature or nurture is entirely responsible for the adults we become.
I know God created Savannah in a very special way. Carl and I marvel at how much she has changed, but that the intense look in her eyes is the exact same look she had on Day One. She is notorious for her "I'm Thinking" look - eyebrows scrunched, binky moving 90mph...I swear she looks like Maggie Simpson some days. That intense curiosity is most definitely the way God (nature) meant her to be.
Savannah also has some qualities that come directly from Carl or I. It's fun to watch Carl when he's building something or concentrating intently...he sticks his tongue out a bit. This weekend Savannah was trying to put her coin in her piggy bank, and there it was. She was sticking her tongue out a bit. Savannah also has a strong affection for animals. I have been an animal lover for as long as I can remember, and it is apparent that Savannah takes after me in this category. The first thing she laughed at? My parent's dog Alex. Her first word? "Cat". She hasn't met a single animal she is afraid of...she didn't bat an eye when the neighbor's dog "Kodiak", a Rottweiler mix that looks just like a Kodiak bear, came bounding over in the snow to see her this weekend. She hadn't met him before, but she loved seeing him. She kept turning and twisting to just see him playing. No fear, no crying.
While the previous two qualities are endearing ones to have been passed on - her mischievousness/rottenness aren't going to be quite as fun. Savannah has learned to stand in her pack and play, which is wonderful...except I looked over about 20 minutes ago and there she is, hanging onto the end rail peeping over to see me...her feet were not on the floor of the pack and play...she was literally hanging onto the rail...doing some form of a baby "chin up". As a side note - at an early age Carl learned to climb out of his crib. My mother-in-law just had to put a mattress on the floor so when he fell he wouldn't get hurt.
Didn't quite get the camera fast enough to get her in full "monkey mode"...
Savannah also has this wonderful habit of getting into something that isn't hers, turning when we tell her to leave it alone, and then smiling at us and waving...then going right back to what she wasn't supposed to be doing in the first place. This, I am told, is almost identical to my behavior as a tot.
So what about other traits? Carl has this amazing endearing quality (if you could hear me speak this sentence, the sarcasm is extremely thick) that when he is watching TV or checking email my voice suddenly doesn't exist. Is this how he was born? My mother-in-law claims "that's just Carl"...but in this one instance (well maybe I disagree with her on more than one thing, but very few) I beg to disagree. People aren't truly born with some quality that makes them ignore others. That is a learned behavior. When God created us he didn't put a quality in us that would allow electronic relationships to rule over human relationships. This quality in Carl (and I'm sure thousands of other people) has developed over time because no one taught differently, or demanded differently.
So how do I make sure that Savannah learns the right traits, and not the wrong ones? I think it has to do with the way Carl and I act. She picks up little habits of ours quickly. She has this glow-worm baby thing that lights up and plays lullaby's when you press its tummy. Well, I have started making it play the music and then I rock it like I would a real baby. The first time she saw me do this she crawled over to me, got in my lap, hit the baby on its face, then took it and threw it to the side. I was shocked, and decided we had better learn to be nice to baby dolls before I think about giving her a sibling to rock and love! So the teaching began. I would hold the baby and rock it and sing to it, and then I would invite Savannah to do it with me. She'd sit in my lap and sometimes hit it, but was beginning to enjoy holding it. We have been practicing this for a while - today my reward came! She was in her pack and play and sat down from her escape attempts. She happened to push the baby doll's tummy when she sat and it started to play music. She looked over at it and pulled it up onto her lap, and to my amazement she started swaying side to side - she was rocking the baby on her own!
I've decided Savannah is who God created, but she also will become more complex as she grows, and it is up to Carl and I to teach her how to rock the baby - not beat it up.
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