Yet another snow day at home. I love my time working from home with Savannah - I really, truly do love it. Around 1pm today I was even thinking about how much fun it is to watch Savannah learn new things. She most definitely connects meanings to certain words now. I was reading her one of those "My First Words" books and we came to a picture of a cat. She said "cat" and looked up at Omen (our wonderfully patient black cat). She also loves for us to chase her now. She will crawl around and around the kitchen island giggling as we chase after her. When we catch her she gets a good tickle, which always elicits a joyous scream. She is becoming such an amazing little girl.
So around 3:30pm, when she still hadn't taken her afternoon nap, I wasn't as "amazed" with her. I'd shoveled some snow (Which by the way, if there were an Olympic event for shoveling snow one-handed while holding a bundled-up 20 pound baby on your hip - I would win a gold medal.) and even let her chatter in her crib, but she was still not sleeping. I do realize she is teething, her gums do look very swollen. She wasn't screaming much, but when she did cry it wasn't pleasant. So I went to an old standard...a few teething tablets, her first dose of Tylenol, a scoop of strawberry ice cream, and Mickey Mouse. The ice cream pacified her...until it was gone. So from 3:30pm until 5:00pm we played a lot...she refused to stay within view so there was a lot of chasing going on. At 5:10pm I decided to feed her dinner, and I ate with her. While we were eating I spoke with Carl at work - and I shared that Savannah hadn't slept since 11:30am. He said he was going to be leaving very soon. I decided that since Carl would be home soon that I'd just try to keep Savannah up, whenever he gets home she enjoys playing with him. So I spent the next hour trying to keep her happy - which sometimes worked. At 6:15pm I'm wondering where in the world is Carl?! The roads are covered in snow...I'd shoveled earlier in the afternoon and there were already at least 2 inches on the drive. Then my cell phone rings. It turns out that I should have just let Savannah take a nap because he is just then, at 6:20pm, leaving work.
So Savannah is crying, tired, and hurting from her teeth...and I feel just as broken. Now I'm filled with worry for Carl, sympathy for Savannah, and pity for myself. She cried, then I cried, then she cried, then I cried. It had just been such a long day for both of us. The snow has been relentless, and once again my weekend plans have been changed all because of snow! I was in the middle of a mommy melt-down in the middle of a winter freeze-up! I just felt so overwhelmed...and like a bad mom. I know Savannah could have used a more patient mommy - but I just couldn't pull it together. In the end she fell asleep on me just before Carl got home...so now it's past her bedtime and she's getting up to play with Carl. I really could use a warm sunny day, a trip to the spa without any screaming, and just maybe 10 minutes to read a book...
I love Savannah SO much, but when she hasn't slept for 7 hours straight she is a handful to handle alone - especially since she really has never been like this. She started sleeping so well for us very early on, so her bad days are so very few and far between...and somehow I got her on one of those not so fun days, when I was stuck snowed in alone for the entire length of it.
I really, really, need some Spring sunshine soon.
No comments:
Post a Comment