Working Mom

feel like I just blogged two days ago - I was surprised to see it'd been 12! It is incredible how quickly life goes by. I am busy on so many levels and have so much whirling around in my head.

This is the first week of school for so many students across West Virginia. Public schools have started, as well as FSU and WVU. Life has gotten complicated again. Sigh. This semester I have the opportunity to teach 108 students over three different courses. That's a lot of names to learn - I truly hope to know many (if not all) of my students academically. I have the busiest schedule I have ever had in the fall. I have class (at FSU) Mondays and Wednesdays at 8:00am. It makes for an early morning! I then teach at 5:00pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays (at WVU). On Fridays I have a Freshman Seminar course at 1:00pm (at FSU). Last semester I received some evaluations that really made me stop and think about my career. I was told I was always "in a bad mood", among other things. I seriously questioned if I was following the right career path. I entered this semester with a new outlook, and I hope to see the differences in my classes. I have restructured the courses to provide for more interaction and I enter each classroom in a positive mood. Of all the challenges I face as an instructor, it seems the positive attitude is the one I struggle with the most. It's not that I am a negative person, it's just that I have so much going on my life (professionally and personally) that I get tired, worn down, and stressed....and then I'm expected (by students) to appear thrilled and happy at 8am on a Monday and at 5pm after I've driven to Fairmont, worked 8 hours, and driven back to Morgantown. So not only do I teach at times it's hard to be happy - I also am skipping breakfasts and dinners....so I'm grouchy because I'm hungry. With all of this knowledge, I am making a very extreme effort to be positive, engaging, and excited about teaching - regardless of the time of day. I sometimes wonder how students can demand such things, when I'd be hard pressed to find very many happy, engaging, and excited about learning students!

With the pressure of this semester starting this week, Carl and I used this past weekend to fully press on with Savannah's big girl room. Finally, I can say this....the room is done!! Savannah can now easily play and enjoy her new space. There are a few details that go in the room that haven't been added, but the actual room is done. The antique dresser is almost complete. We have sanded it, put two coats of primer, and three coats of paint. We plan to poly tonight and then we can put the dresser in on Sunday. I also have two canvases I'd like to paint with some princess details...I might get those done this weekend. We also bought two flower lights at Ikea that need to be put up, but I'm going to let Carl do that at the same time he hangs the canvases. We still have to buy a bed (we have the mattress in the room with the bedding on it), but we still haven't picked one we love and Savannah doesn't really need to be up off the floor yet anyway. Within the year we'll pick one, but for now we're happy. Once the bed is in we'll move the nightstand from the nursery in, but I hate to have a nightstand that she could roll into in her room, so it will wait too. Our weekend was full of decorating and painting, but it is so worth it. Savannah LOVES to run around in her room and play dress up and tea party and read books...it's just fun.

I also spent a good part of the weekend cleaning the house. I'm not usually a messy person, but life has consumed me and I'd slacked off a bit. But then Carl wanted a good friend from high school and college to come to dinner this week. This friend and his fiancé have never seen the house - so I really wanted to make sure it was clean. So around all of the decorating, I was also cleaning like a mad woman and shopping for food, etc. I honestly hadn't even though past today's plans until now....life is in such segments....I literally think about my schedule only a few days in advance now - I just have so much going on. I realized this morning that I haven't sat down to watch television since last Friday. The only reason I know what's going on in the world is because I check msnbc.com for news in the morning at work.

So. I'm busy. VERY busy. On top of all the craziness at home with remodeling and cleaning, I also am planning our Disney vacation (108 days!!), planning a major recruitment event on the FSU campus, beginning a new project for January at FSU, and teaching all those students...and I can't forget, Carl and I joined a Bible Study on Tuesday nights. (So my Tuesdays look like this - 6:30 wake up, arrive at FSU at 7:30, work until 4pm, arrive at WVU at 4:30, teach until 6:15, get home at 6:30 eat and love Savannah - which honestly is more Savannah time than eating time, leave for Bible Study at 6:50, get home from Bible Study at 8:15pm, and then make lunch/shower for the next day - which begins early the next day with class at 8am!) This semester is busy - one of the worst on record. I haven't really ever questioned God about the miscarriage - I never felt the need to be angry with God or to blame someone (besides myself), and now I see what God saw months ago. I'm busy, and stressed, and not eating well...and just plain not in a very healthy stage for a pregnant woman to be in. It wouldn't have been wise to attempt all of this at the same time as a pregnancy. This semester is just starting and it already feels incredibly heavy. Last week I saw the impending stress and finally did something I have been promising myself to do for a long time....when the chair of the IE department at WVU called about teaching next spring...I said no. Every semester I teach at WVU I always say "This is the last time...", but then the next semester rolls around and there I am teaching again. I finally said no. I want another baby - and I want to be able to enjoy my pregnancy. I will have zero classes in the spring to teach...I have 3 large events at FSU to handle, but all of those can be done during my normal working hours. There will be no remodeling at the house (hopefully nothing needs fixed anyway!), and life will be just the 8-4 and baby-growing.

That's my plan anyway...but distractions to that plan presented themselves yesterday. The Dean at FSU asked about my thoughts on taking on two more courses in the future - in addition to what I already do. At that point I'd be teaching 3 full credit courses plus a seminar course, as well as everything else I do (Science Fairs, Career Fairs, newsletter, course catalog, Recruitment/Retention Committee, Science Challenge, Science Bowl). I may not be able to handle that....teaching 10 credit hours and everything else. Full time faculty teach 12 credit hours and that's it! I don't know how I could handle basically two full time jobs in the same single 8 hours a day! I also was approached by an old professor/friend to consider teaching an online course for his program...online is appealing because I could work after bedtime for Savannah...but it really would depend on some of the specifics.

So I'm busy now, and really trying very hard to prevent this craziness next year....without slowing the progress of my professional career....ah the joys of a working mom!!