For a while now I've been debating about writing this post...what to say, what to include, what not to include...all because I don't want people to take things the wrong way. Then I told myself that this is my blog. So if you are easily offended or think everything is a personal attack - maybe you should stop here.
The past month has flown by (it's a good thing too - more on that later). My work life is busy, busy, busy! I enjoy teaching so many students, but that combined with the rest of my responsibilities at FSU make for a very fast-paced semester. It has helped time go by quickly, even if some days I feel like I'm living out of my car. On Tuesday night I gave an exam at WVU...so I left the house at 7am that morning, was at FSU from 7:30 - 4:00, was at WVU from 5:00 - 6:30, ate a quick fast-food dinner (so not good for me!) before arriving slightly late to Bible Study at 7:05pm. I finally made it home at 8:20pm...just over 13 hours later. Savannah was still awake with Nana...so after we got bedtime squared away it was close to 9:00pm. I was exhausted, but the dishwasher needed emptied, the mail needed sorted, lunches for the next day needed to be packed, and the kitchen was a mess. I asked Carl for some help - but his answer wasn't what I'd hoped. This time is wasn't that he didn't think it was his responsibility (he has become much more of a help around the house now that we have defined chores for each of us), it was that he said he "needed to pay his mom's bills - it's the end of the month". So for those of you not aware, Carl has taken over the handling of his mom's finances....I'm generally on board with this, as long as there are boundaries. Two of the boundaries I set is that the bills stay out of my sight (I don't want her bills and our family's bills getting mixed up - I handle our monthly finances, so her stuff has to stay out of my sight) and that her finances are last priority in our household. It's not that I don't love my mother-in-law - she is a wonderful person and a wonderful Nana to Savannah. My issue is that Carl and I have a family and house to take care of and that my mother-in-law is an adult. She could manage her own finances, she obviously had to do it at some point on her own. Maybe she didn't do it well, but that's not my problem. So my rule is that our family/household comes first, and I've always told Carl that if he thinks his mother's things should come first then she could do them herself and make them her first priority. So, needless to say, when Carl told me he couldn't help with things because he had to pay his mother's bills my response wasn't delightful. He seemed completely amazed that I was unhappy with his comment. I then reminded him of my deal - I won't complain about the finance issue if he does our household things first. He still seemed awfully annoyed with me - I swear he thinks I make up chores for him just to keep him from paying her bills, just to spite him. I really don't know where he gets that idea, because I haven't changed (in regards to my clean house ethics) one bit since he met me 8 1/2 years ago. There's more work now (toddlers are great for adding work to your daily routine!) but I haven't changed in my need to have a clean house before I go to bed. It's also not like I asked him to wash the windows and scrub the baseboards with a toothbrush! I just needed a few little things done and I was exhausted from working two jobs! He did clean the crockpot out before I got home that night (yes - he even has a warm meal waiting for him on the nights I'm not even there) and I did notice, but I think he wanted a parade in his honor for doing that....where's my parade for doing all that I do, day-in and day-out? He did end up helping without complaint, although he probably had plenty of unspoken complaints. I do realize I'm a neat-freak and demanding - but he knew that a long time ago so that's what he gets.
So some days are busy and tiring and easy for me to complain about. It's on days like that, when I'm just so tired of working SO much, that I wish for a date night dinner and a relaxing evening at home. Carl and I recently went on a restaurant budget...only $10/month for each of us for our dining-out during work hours and then $100/month for all other eating out. We did fairly well in September...I still have cash left over, and our $100 limit wasn't quite met...unless you count Carl's indiscretions...he took a coworker to lunch...and then he went to lunch with his sister...and then he took take-out soup to his mom because she had a cold......I'm not trying to be a nit-pick here....but it's hard to stick to a budget when we say all these other things don't count! So if they do count, then everyone else gets to enjoy our budgeted money, and Carl and I aren't left with any date night money! (Which, as noted earlier - I seriously need one!) And while I'm sorry my mother-in-law was sick it kind of irks me that Carl makes a special out of the way stop to get her soup, but when my mom is sick she is still expected to show up at our front door at 6:45am to watch Savannah - and there's no soup for her! Carl certainly wouldn't like having to stay home to watch Savannah, and with my teaching semester this fall (I teach every day of the week) I certainly have a hard time taking a sick day....so he should appreciate her just as much as his own mother.
As I noted earlier, it is a good thing that time is flying - it means our Disney trip begins 10 weeks from Saturday! I'm so excited to travel to one of my favorite places in the world and to see Savannah enjoy it all. We just paid off the trip, so now it's fully paid for in cash..the only bills we will see upon return will be for the souvenirs we decide to get. I can't wait to enjoy a stress-free week in such a magical place! Or, at least, I'm hoping it's stress free. My family is going with us, which should allow for Carl and I to steal away for a little bit of private time (we honeymooned in Disney, so it would be nice to enjoy just a little quiet time at some point). Carl's family has considered making the trip at the same time, which I have mixed feelings about. I'd love for Nana to get to see Savannah in Disney also, but when our two families get together it always seems like there is drama over silly things (like who looked at who wrong). I really want this trip to be special for Carl, Savannah, and I. The grandparents being there is just kind of a bonus for us....it won't be a bonus if they all can't behave and keep their complaints about the others to themselves. We gave both families plenty of notice of when this trip would be (we've been planning since January 2009 - yes, before Savannah was born) and it just happens that my family said yes let's go, his family drug their feet about it, and we ended up booking with my parents this summer. In all honesty, I don't care who comes, but I don't want to hear any complaints about so-and-so did this or so-and-so did that! Savannah isn't old enough to complain like that yet - and the grandparents/aunts are old enough to know better!
Ten weeks away from Disney also means only 13 more weeks before I begin to think about another baby. Ok, honestly, 13 more weeks until I can start trying for another baby, I'm already thinking about it! I miss being pregnant and the anticipation of a new life. I know a lot of women that are pregnant, or have recently had a baby...I want to be one of those women! Our house is ready...my heart is ready....I'm just waiting for the stress of the semester to end, Disney to come and go, and for the week of vacation after the holidays to begin. (One nice perk of working at a University....I get December 24 - January 1 off as holiday.) I am really starting to feel ready for the next chapter in our lives....of course I know that with another child we certainly will experience growing pains. I remember the frustrations with all the housework and the baby and working and meals.....but things iron out after a while....we know what to prepare for this time...I know what to expect (somewhat - each one is different!)....at least Carl and I know how to handle the chore list....we'll just get it ready before a baby comes and then re-evaluate after that...13 weeks will go by so quickly at the pace I'm going!
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