Today is the last school day of the Fall 2011 semester! Do I feel like running mad up and down the halls yelling, "School's Out!"...well yes, I kind of do. It isn't that I don't like my job, I love it. I love teaching, I love the atmosphere, I love the outreach work. I'm excited because that means in 13 weeks or less, I will be a mom of two! This is just one milestone on the timeline to mommy-hood!
Next week is my last week in the office until January. As I pointed out to Carl, when I return to work I'll be 30.5 weeks pregnant...and will have a hospital bag packed in the car for the "just in case". It is really starting to sink in...we are really having a baby! I enter the 3rd trimester this week - now that is hard to believe! When I started thinking about how long I've already been pregnant (I was pregnant way back when I hosted a baby shower for my good friend in August!)...it is amazing to think that we are finally getting down to the last weeks.
I guess I'm both excited and sad and relieved at the same time about the last 13 (or less) weeks of pregnancy. I'm excited to meet Luke/Ella and find out just if it is Luke or Ella. I'm excited to see Savannah and her sibling. I'm relieved that the worry of miscarriage will be behind me. I'm sad that I may not have another pregnancy (we'll leave that final decision for a few years down the road...). And while I won't complain about being pregnant, I am beginning to feel the restrictions on movement, sitting positions, amount of time I can be active, and just last night I started thinking about THE recovery...the absolute worst part of pregnancy. It is physically just about the worst 5-6 weeks I ever experienced...but at least I will have a baby to hold through it all. I'm a mixed bag of emotions right now...I am so grateful for what I have, and I enjoy it all so much...but I still don't know what I will think about future pregnancies...for now I'm just going to enjoy the anticipation of a new life arriving.
So not only are Carl and I starting to feel the last few weeks weighing on us...so is Savannah. I'd like to think she's just happy as can be about a sibling...but I've started to see little signs that jealousy may rear it's head once Luke/Ella is home. Most specifically, we have had some major bedtime battles recently. She hasn't wanted to go to bed on her own for the past two weeks...she wants rocked to sleep. In the nursery. So Carl and I have started putting her in bed awake, and walking away. When she returns to our room, we just get up and put her back...last night it took 6 trips back to her bed before she stopped coming into our room. After she'd been quiet a while I had Carl check to make sure she was indeed, in bed. Turns out she'd fallen asleep in the nursery, in the rocker.
I have told her that I made her room special for her, and that it's her big girl room. (And remember, she's been out of the nursery since September 2010.) She then told me that she doesn't like her room. I said, "Well can the baby have it?" and she promptly replied "Yes!". And now with her falling asleep in the nursery...I think she is starting to feel some of the anticipation...and maybe isn't ready to give up her status. It's hard to see that, and to think that, but I have to just remind her how much we love her. We need to make sure she feels special and cherished as a big girl too...not just as our baby...it's hard...the transition is already starting to loom and I know we'll have some hiccups along the way...but God will get us through it all.
As a side note, my to-do list that is always so overwhelming is finally calming down...well sort of. My only goal for the next week is to get the last minute presents bought and wrapped. I have finished all of the blankets and the Christmas cards are almost done. I'm just waiting on photos to arrive in the mail (should be today) so I can finish the cards tonight and get them in the mail tomorrow morning. I did make a list for things that need to get done over my break from work...and I think I should be able to get most of it done in time. Savannah will be at preschool two mornings of my time off, so I should have some time to do things...right now I've been freaking out because I don't have a "Take Home from the Hospital" outfit...and since I won't know pink or blue it's hard to pick one. Carl said he could ask around to borrow something from someone at work for the blue and we could take something of Savannah's for the pink...but honestly, that outfit is supposed to be special - a keepsake. So it looks like I'm on the hunt for an adorable general neutral outfit...or really cheap and adorable outfits in pink AND blue...so I'll be ready. :0)
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