Shame on Me!

I know...it's been almost 3 weeks since I wrote last! Settle in for the long haul - a lot has happened!

Seattle Trip -

Carl and I spent 5 days in Seattle September 10-15...I missed Savannah so, so much. I was there for work part of the time, and I learned a lot. The trip was definitely eye-opening when it comes to a project that will soon be on my plate. Carl and I also enjoyed some sight-seeing prior to the weekdays of work. It was nice to explore a new city together, sleep-in, and eat amazing food while it's still hot! We took advantage of the time away - knowing it may very well be the last trip alone for quite a while. I thought I might be a nervous wreck flying so far, especially considering my anxiety in the past...but I did really well.

Crazyness at Work -

Upon returning from Seattle, I knew I would have 7 days to finish all preparations for the College of Science and Technology's largest recruiting event of the year. This has become my "baby" so to speak...I organized/advertise/plan/run...really any action adjective you can use here...it's mine. I do everything to make sure it happens, and then the day of the Challenge I ensure everything runs smoothly while the faculty engage students in hands-on activities. In years past we have welcomed around 100 students to campus...on Monday (9/19) I learned we would have 340 students instead of the 100...and the event was Friday (9/23)...so needless to say, I was a hectic mess all week last week. It was just insane planning for all of those kids to come to campus...but in the end the day went smoothly (well, as smooth as it can with 340 high school kids involved!)...and we are now planning for an even larger group next year. This truly was one of the largest events and planning successes I have had...great day to love my job! Now I'm slowing down a bit...but there's always something going on for me to participate in or plan...which is good.

A New Home for Hope -

This is one part of our life that saddens me a bit. We are actively searching for a new home for Hope. I do love her, but I feel guilty that she is crated often, or alone often...and I know it will only get worse when the baby comes. It just isn't fair to her...and in reality it isn't fair to us. We often are cleaning up things she's chewed (because she is crated so much she chews everything when she's out) and dealing with the negative side of having a dog...and we never see the positive. The cats never have adjusted to her...constant hissing and cat yells and barking...and Hope often finds the dining room table as her personal step stool...and the amount of cleaning seems to have tripled for me...it has just become too much for us all. We are sad that it didn't work out...especially after all the things we have done to try to make it work...but a dog just doesn't fit with us. When we got her, we really didn't know if we'd ever have a baby...so we thought we'd have the time to really love and train her...and I love dogs...I really truly do...but she has become so much work and I know it will only get worse...and it just isn't fair to anyone. So...one of Carl's coworkers is a nice, single lady, who has a farm, and another dog, and is looking for a black lab puppy...she actually asked Carl about Hope months ago...and so tonight Hope is going to meet her...and if they seem to like each other, Hope may have a home...that will be much, much more fair to her...and she'll be happy. It is really hard for me to let her go, and to admit that it's my fault we're in this situation. But I was emotional...and didn't know the future...and didn't anticipate the amount of friction she would cause between Carl and I...or the way the cats would hate her...or the way Savannah would run from her...she just doesn't fit...and I hate to be one of those people that gets rid of a pet...because pets are family...but I had to make a decision that would be the best for everyone. If Carl's coworker doesn't like Hope, then we will keep her until we find her a good fit...she won't go anywhere that won't love her.

Baby Update! -

So now that all the other randomness of September is out of the way...baby update! I am now almost 17 weeks...I can't believe that! God has really blessed me with this second child, and so far everything has been fine. I have another appointment in 9 days, just a check up, but I'm looking forward to hearing that heart beat again! The "revealing" ultrasound is scheduled for the 19th of October...but we are still planning on waiting for a surprise baby...we just have to hope that the ultrasound isn't too revealing! For the past 2 or 3 weeks I've been telling family that every so often I feel the baby move...just the little flutters...which is about 2-3 weeks earlier than I felt them with Savannah...some people didn't believe me...but I was sure of the feeling. Well, yesterday was a wonderful day for me. I had an hour of some pretty obvious baby movements...and I really think it won't be long before Carl and Savannah can share in the fun and feel them too! Today the little one has been pretty active too...I often feel the rolls and kicks...it is so amazingly delightful to feel! It also is such a great way to keep my mind at ease that he or she is still growing and developing.

It has also become a constant reminder that even if I'd like to believe I still have time...I really don't have all the time in the world to get the nursery back into baby-shape! We've been so busy with work (Carl with a major project too) and Carl's mom moving that the nursery has kind of been put off for another day...but in all reality, 20 more weeks and if I go into labor they won't stop me...that isn't that long! I'm almost to the halfway point! I need to get clothes washed/refolded/put in the drawer...paint the name letters and have them ready to hang up (I'm making a Luke and an Ella...so that way the name can go up before we even get home)...open the double stroller and have Carl build it...pack all the little things from the nursery closet that are sentimental things of Savannah's....and just generally get all the things out of the nursery that don't belong there...I'm hoping that sometime in October we will have an evening or two to work on all that...we may just have to schedule it in!

As for me...I'm feeling great. Physically I'm not as tired as I used to be...and I'm eating again. I still haven't lost or gained any weight...but I'm sure that won't last long...I know the pounds are going to start adding on soon! I also am weaning off my Celexa. Last week I was taking half a dose...and now I only take one half dose tonight, one half dose on Wednesday, and then I'm done - completely off! While it is a medicine that "could" be taken during pregnancy...there is no proof that it is or isn't safe...and there have been rare ties to issues when women take it during the second half of pregnancy...so I say, if I don't need it then I'm not taking it. My doctor fully supports the decision...and so we decided to try it. So far I haven't noticed one bit of difference, so hopefully I'm off it for good! If I need to go back on it (say panic attacks come back, etc.) and it stresses me to the point it isn't safe for the baby...then I will revisit the decision...but I honestly feel just as normal as when I was on it...so hopefully I'm back to being myself! It feels great to know I'm able to do it on my own...and make the best choices for my baby.

So that is the past 3 weeks in a nutshell...a lot of changing emotions and goings-on...but that seems to be the story of my life!!