We traveled north to Pittsburgh. On the way up we stopped at McDonald's for lunch. When we pulled in the drive-thru was so busy, so Carl said, "I'll just run in and get food.". Then he said, "Wait, there's no kids, we'll both go in!". It is amazing that such a small thing such as eating our lunch inside of McDonald's without a child made us so giddy! After lunch we continued the drive. We checked into a hotel with a Jacuzzi tub - I swear our next house needs one of those! We went to The Melting Pot for a romantic dinner for two. We had yummy cheese fondue, delicious foods cooked in burgundy wine, and a bananas foster dessert fondue (flambe'd at the table!). Our waitress also brought us a complimentary glass of champagne to toast with. It was dark and cozy...and just adult.
After dinner we went shopping for a bit at the Waterfront district. It was nice to hop in and out of the car without dealing with car seats and kids and crying and potty breaks. We went and shopped where we wanted - unhurried! Later on we met friends at the Sing Sing Dueling Piano Bar. I'd been there once before and knew Carl would love it. We bought drinks, laughed, chatted, stayed out. When we left the bar around 11pm, we decided to hit up Dave and Buster's since it was right across the street. It was another little giddy feeling of happiness that we could change plans spur of the moment, enjoy time out, stay up late, and just do what we wanted.
Carl and I finally crashed at 2:00am. I woke up at 8:30a because well, since I still am responsible for the nourishment of my little Luke, I had to pump. Then I was hungry (as always!). So in all honesty, we didn't get any more sleep (and probably less) than what we would have gotten at home...but we had 24 hours of freedom. We didn't have a baby crying, a 3 year old whining or climbing on us, a parent needing us...we didn't have anything in our bubble but us.
It was nice. It was wonderful. I love, love, love my kids...but I also love my husband...and having kids makes it a much more difficult task to enjoy my husband. On the drive home I told Carl that at one point during our night away I realized a really depressing thought: The Sing Sing is a popular place for Bachlorette and Bachelor parties...and there were several in attendance. All of those young, carefree people, so excited to get married...drinking, partying, dancing...I used to be that youthful. And fun. And
After revealing this to Carl he kind of laughed, but agreed. Our lives are so very different from when we started dating to when we got married to now. I think I still thought I was somewhat young when we had just Savannah...but then Luke was born...and then Carl's mom had her stroke. We have had to grow up so quickly and begin caring for an ailing parent. It is tough to go through major lifestyle changes all at once. We have aged.
Our anniversary trip was so good for us. We needed to get away from responsibility and connect again. We'd grown weary and tired (little sleep, caring for three dependents, doctor's appointments, travel, work stress...) and barely kissed each other. Life just had us down and kept on pushing on us. The time we had to just step away from it and just breathe, and love each other, and worry only about each other's happiness...that is something we desperately needed. It helped to bring back some of our youthfulness. Our playfulness with each other. To laugh together.
Last night Carl and I had small date night (could be the last one for a while - we are super busy!) and we were talking about our memories from when we were first dating. It's amazing the things he remembers and then the things I remember. But we both remember the fun, the love, the energy, the excitement. I hope we never lose sight of that.
Now, as ten years have passed since the first date, I remember fondly the day Carl told me "I love you" for the first time. It was in April (I'm curious of the day...I'm hoping to find my old diaries soon to figure out the exact date. Wouldn't it be neat if it were the 10th, Savannah's birthday?!). He had just given blood at school and we were hanging out after school, watching TV at my parents. I was cozied up against him, just holding onto him. I felt the need to say "I love you." just randomly out of the blue. I didn't. I bit my tongue and just held on a little tighter. I didn't want to scare him away...we'd only been together for 2 or so months! That night, we went to hang out at a friend's house. We were watching some show on TV (some guy show, one I am not particularly interested in) and Carl got up to get a drink...there was some banter between me and Carl and some of his friends. There was laughter and he came over to kiss and said "I love you." then walked back into the kitchen...it just came out like a natural, said every day type of thing. I blushed a little but didn't say anything. When he dropped me off that night, he asked me if I had realized what he said. He said he hadn't planned it, it just came out of his mouth like it should naturally always....and I was amazed that on the same day, we both felt like together is the natural place to be. We both felt compelled to share our love for each other, we both wanted to express our love as natural and true as God intended. I believe we were made for each other. There are days that I just wonder, "What is he doing?!" or "What was he thinking?!"...and now that we have responsibilities there seem to be more of those days than ever before. This weekend gave us a brief look at what life was like before we had to grow up and grow old. It was a wonderful, wonderful reminder that we still love each other very, very much. I can't imagine my life without my soul mate, my best friend, my partner in crime, my husband.
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